7 Tips to Become a Better Listener

Introduction

Did you know that people typically spend about 70-80% of their waking hours communicating, with listening accounting for about 45% of that time? Yet, studies suggest that most people only remember 25% of what they hear after a conversation. These surprising statistics highlight the importance—and potential inadequacy—of our listening skills in effective communication. This blog aims to offer practical tips to help you improve your listening abilities, enhancing both personal and professional interactions.

Tip 1: Maintain Eye Contact

Why It Matters: Eye contact is a powerful tool in communication, as it demonstrates attentiveness and engagement. It reassures the speaker that you are fully present and interested in their message.


How to Practice: Aim to strike a balance in eye contact—enough to show engagement, but not so intense that it feels intrusive. Practice looking into the speaker’s eyes naturally, focusing on expressions without staring.

Tip 2: Eliminate Distractions

Why It Matters: Distractions can severely impact your ability to focus on the speaker, leading to misunderstandings and missed information. By minimizing distractions, you create a more focused and intentional listening environment.


How to Practice: Turn off electronic devices, such as phones and TVs, and find a quiet space to engage in conversations. Let others know when you are not available, ensuring your full attention is on the speaker.

Tip 3: Practice Active Listening

Why It Matters: Active listening involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than passively hearing the message. This practice encourages understanding and retention of information.


How to Practice: Use techniques such as nodding, paraphrasing, and asking clarifying questions. Summarize key points to demonstrate full comprehension and engage in meaningful dialogue.

Tip 4: Defer Judgment

Why It Matters: Keeping an open mind allows you to truly understand the speaker's perspective without letting preconceived notions cloud your judgment. This deepens understanding and reduces potential conflicts.


How to Practice: Hold off on forming opinions until the speaker has finished. Use phrases like "I see what you mean" to acknowledge the speaker's viewpoint and consider it thoroughly before responding.

Tip 5: Show Empathy

Why It Matters: Empathy enhances listening by building a stronger emotional connection, showing the speaker that you genuinely care about their feelings and experiences.


How to Practice: Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes by visualizing their perspective. Respond with empathy by acknowledging emotions and showing understanding through comforting gestures or words.

Tip 6: Provide Feedback

Why It Matters: Feedback encourages open communication and confirms your understanding of the conversation, fostering a collaborative environment.


How to Practice: Use verbal affirmations like "I understand" or "That makes sense," along with reflective statements to confirm what you have heard. This not only validates the speaker but also ensures clarity.

Tip 7: Be Patient and Wait to Respond

Why It Matters: Patience allows the speaker to express themselves fully, ensuring that all their thoughts and concerns are shared and understood.


How to Practice: Practice pausing before responding, taking a few moments to process the speaker's message. This thoughtful approach leads to more considerate and informed responses.

Conclusion

Improving your listening skills requires time and practice, but the rewards are substantial. By applying these seven tips—maintaining eye contact, eliminating distractions, practicing active listening, deferring judgment, showing empathy, providing feedback, and being patient—you can become a more effective listener, enhancing communication and building stronger relationships.

Additional Resources

Books and Articles:

  • "The Lost Art of Listening" by Michael P. Nichols
  • "Just Listen" by Mark Goulston


Workshops and Seminars: Consider enrolling in listening skills workshops or online courses to further practice and develop your abilities.

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Since 1981 Ed has been a huge proponent for learning consciousness tools. In his 20's and struggling without parents to encourage or support him, he turned to experts in the field of human consciousness. These included Tony Robbins, Tom Hopkins, Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor, Dale Carnegie and dozens of others who influenced him. In 1995-1997 Ed was certified in the Hendricks Method of Body Centered Psychotherapy by the Hendricks Institute. In 2001 Ed was certified by the Coaches Training Institute as a Co-Active Coach, In 2002, Ed was certified by the Human Systems Institute as a Family Constellation Practitioner. In 2006 Ed Received his Masters in Psychology from Antioch University Seattle. In 2009, Ed Received the highest certification from the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute as a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. Ed continues to study and has worked with thousands of people over a 26 year self employed practitioner. Ed lives in Durango, Co where he enjoys Fly-Fishing, Hiking, and Dance.

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